Fridays after 5, Decibot runs this muthafucka! So check it out, y’all: someone with wayyyyy too much time on their hands created a mash-up of Decibot’s two most favorite awesomely awful nu metal jams, White Zombie’s “More Human Than Human” and Methods of Mayhem’s “Get Naked.” Shout out to Vince and Axl at Metal Sucks.

Cons: no images of Li’l Kim riding the giant “rooster”; it’s the worst moments of Ozzfest ‘99 condensed into one gnarly butt nugget.

Pros: no images of T-Lo and Tommy Lee stroking their own johnsons; it’s like the best moments of Ozzfest ‘99 condensed into one gnarly butt nugget.

Decibot is down with M.O.P., but Billy and Fame’s new “rap-rock” side project Hevi Medal? Not so much.

Hevi Medal, “7:30″

Tom Morello sings softly and carries a big stick up his ass with his new solo project, The Nightwatchman. Decibot can only imagine the chaos in America’s coffehouses later this summer when some brave Rage Against the Machine fan (let’s be serious: there are no Audioslave fans) averts his gaze from his bowl of flaxseed granola long enough to stand up and shout “Judas!” when Morello unplugs his guitar and reveals his sensitive side. Or his creepy stalker/pervert side, as on the title track “One Man Revolution.” Speaking of which, that would be the perfect professional wrestling moniker should he ever want to take his message directly to the people. Morello’s constituency wants to watch The One Man Revolution jump off the turnstiles and deliver a “five-sided fistagon” to the Ultimate Warrior’s face. Too bad Morello’s more interested in sitting at home, fantasizing about Emma Goldman and pooping out John Mellencamp covers. Decibot will concede that Morello’s Shane McGowan-with-perfect-teeth impression on “The Road I Must Travel” doesn’t totally suck, but the rest of the record seems lake a Harvard thesis designed to answer one question: who farted? The answer is blowing in the wind.

*Still not as bad as The Nightwatchman’s acoustic version