Let me tell you about my friend Dan. He’s a semi-observant Jew, but he also worships at the altar of Cliff Burton. Dan listens to Ride the Lightning every day while he’s in the shower, driving in his car, reading the newspaper and cooking dinner. He listens to it at work, too (as a part of an extended playlist with Kill ‘Em All and Master of Puppets) — he just turns the volume down on his speakers to avoid annoying his co-workers. Dan eats, drinks and sleeps Ride the Lighting every single day of the year except for the first night of Passover when, in accordance to some tradition he probably made up when he was 11, he only listens to “Creeping Death.” Like, a bunch of times during the day and then once more right before the start of the seder, at full blast, because “Elijah is the original headbanger.” I haven’t spoken to Dan for a few years, so for all I know, he could be reading this post while eating a B.L.T. and listening to St. Anger. But in case you’re wondering why this night is different from all other nights, here’s a few reasons:

Bullet for My Valentine, “Creeping Death” (Metallica cover)

Machine Head, “Creeping Death” (Metallica cover)

Apocalyptica, “Creeping Death” (Metallica cover)

According to The End, Japanese black metal act Sigh have just recorded a 6-song EP of Venom covers called Sigh’s Tribute to Venom. This will come as a huge surprise to anyone who got their hands on a copy of Sigh’s last tribute to Venom (also called, um, Sigh’s Tribute to Venom) that came out as a 6-song EP in 1995. But the tracklist is different, and the versions of live staples “Black Metal,” “Schizo” and “Witching Hour” have now been rerecorded with new sax player Dr. Mikannibal. Let’s face it: no one needs to listen to Venom doing Venom anymore. It’s just too sad. But Mirai Kawashima and the rest of the members of Sigh taking a step away from orchestral arrangements and getting down and dirty with some “roots” metal is the sonic equivalent of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with the crusts cut off. Sounds good any time of day. Mirai needs to cut his hair, tho’. He’s starting to pay homage to the Cronos hairline… and that’s not a good look for anyone. Sorry, Devin Townsend.

Sigh, “Witching Hour” (Venom cover) 11/23/07

Sigh, “Schizo” (Venom cover) 3/22/02

Lita Ford played guitar in the Runaways and opened for Sabbath in ‘82, but Joan Jett’s still on the road while she’s at home popping out Jim Gillette’s babies. Vh1 still plays “Close My Eyes Forever” a ton, of course, but sometimes it seems like Viacom’s contractual obligation to keeping Ozzy in the limelight is responsible for that. It’s easy to forget how successful Lita Ford was as a solo artist (especially after Sharon Osbourne stepped into the picture); don’t even pretend like the video for “Kiss Me Deadly” didn’t make you want to jerk off in a sock. Where’s the Shania Twain cover, and why haven’t any American Idol “rock” wannabes taken a crack at this one? Who knows, but how about Reel Big Fish, Damone (featuring cameo-whore Butch Walker) and sad sack Matt Nathanson instead? Thanks to the Deciblog, your weekend just got a whole lot cornier! Uh huh, it ain’t no big thing.

Reel Big Fish, “Kiss Me Deadly”

Damone w/ Butch Walker, “Kiss Me Deadly”

Matt Nathanson, “Kiss Me Deadly”

Fall Out Boy played a secret show in Buffalo (as “Schrute Farms”) this past November and invited hometown hero Keith Buckley (of Every Time I Die) to rock vocals on a cover of Pantera’s “Walk.” Then the flame war began. Some scene kid’s video response on YouTube has a higher rating than the song itself. Admittedly, the footage from the concert ain’t that hot, but Fall Out Boy’s version of “Walk” isn’t Panterrible. It sounds pretty much like “Walk,” which satisfies the criteria for any Pantera cover: versimilitude. It’s definitely not deserving of the usual meathead “Dimebag should rise from the dead and kill those fucking bastards, what a disgrace to music and what a lack of respect to Pantera” comments. David Draiman had the right idea when interviewed about “tensions” between Disturbed and Avenged Sevenfold over their covers of “Walk”: who fucking cares? Besides, the myth of Pantera being above reproach is ridiculous : Pantera routinely performed “Walk” with the likes of Sully Erma and Damageplan flogged the song without Anselmo. Metal Injection’s dissection of the cult of Pantera was spot-on. But I’d like to add: If Dimebag was still around, he’d be jamming “Walk” on the second stage of Ozzfest with Andrew WK and Kelly Osbourne, laying down licks for Keith Urban’s metal covers album and waving a glow stick during Sasha and Digweed’s acid house remix of “Walk.” Now where’s the hand-farting version?

Fall Out Boy w/ Keith Buckley, “Walk” [Live in Buffalo 11/19/07]

Avenged Sevenfold, “Walk” [Live at Rock Am Ring 2006]

Chimaira, “Walk” [live in Belgium 2006]

Motörhead: great for dinner parties, battle of the bands entries, set filler, whatever. Always a classy choice, never goes out of style. And if you’re true metal warriors like Sodom, “Ace of Spades” is an absolute must; the group’s cover has been the centerpiece/obvious crowd pleaser for a few years now. Turns out, Sodom does a pretty good Motörhead. And they do an even better Motörhead when Abbath from Immortal joins in on vocals, as in the clip from this year’s Inferno Festival. Since Sodom can’t have all the back-door fun, we’ve added a couple of other “interesting” interpretations of this classic for the sake of comparison.

Sodom (ft. Abbath) - “Ace of Spades”

Hayseed Dixie - “Ace of Spades”

Ween - “Ace of Spades”

How much does John McCrea love Black Sabbath? There are two versions of “War Pigs” on Cake’s upcoming B-Sides and Rarities disc, including a live cover with Steven Drozd of the Flaming Lips that serves as the comp’s “hidden track.” The whole record (minus the live cover, but including a version of the Muppets “Mahna Mahna” song) is available for streaming/download here. The Sacramento quartet also sponsored a “War Pigs” video contest earlier this spring, so there’s currently a hundred lousy fan-made videos to sift through on YouTube, in addition to clips of The Dresden Dolls, Tesla, Flaming Lips w/Peaches and w/Cat Power and Gov’t Mule all offering their unique spins on the quintessential war protest song. No Bathory - total fucking bummer.  But, hey, sock puppets: