We know the U.S. used psychological warfare in Iraq, but one has to wonder where the Psychological Operations Company (Psy Ops), whose motto is “Persuade Change Influence,” got the idea to blast Metallica to break the will of uncooperative enemies. After much researching and countless denials to speak with Psychological Operations Veterans Association President Arlo Despain, we found this.

As a side note, we often wondered what a GWAR song written by Michael Sembello would sound like. Consider our will broken.

By Joemack, Complete Failure

5. Go to The Smiling Moose by yourself. Drink, stare, and pretend like you’re not lonely.

4. Browse the used bin at Eide’s Entertainment. Act important and frustrated at the lack of selection.

3. Wander aimlessly around Downtown and South Side.

2. Go to the 31st Street Pub and hopefully not catch another psychobilly show.

1. Visit me and have me show you my secret bar: Shooters in Mckees Rocks, PA,  just outside downtown Pittsburgh. I love that place… Dollar everything!

There’s more to Madonna than meets the eye. Or ear. Then again, aforementioned sentence and sentence fragment are stating the obvious. Apparently, Mrs. Ciccone Ritchie, at the ripe age of 50, has decided yet again to shake things up. No, she’s not starring in Still Desperately Seeking Susan or green lighting the release of an x-rated version of Body of Evidence. Madge is getting metal. Wha..Whaa…Whaat? The ‘Queen of Pop’ likes her distortion, power chords, and aggression. Check out this clip of a metalized version of hit single “Hung Up,” replete with a surprise riff at the 6:19 mark.

Can you guess the band and the song she’s aping at the 6:19 mark? Madonna might know it.

And before all you Deci-posters cry ‘sell out!’ just remember Madonna’s net worth is around 600 million bucks. It’s probably more appropriate to cry ‘sell in!’ Oh, and here is Her Majesty again slingin’ it like a meshuggener.

Sure we think Pelican’s new video for “Dead Between the Walls” is a great representation of our favorite Chicago instrumetalists. But the clip’s real star is J. Bennett’s business manager Juan Perez, who plays Pelican’s “vocalist” in the David Kleiler-directed promo. When asked about his motivation for the video’s climatic final scene, Perez offered, “I was wondering if I’d look badass. Actually, I was just wondering how a singer would actually carry a microphone.”

While working at a record store (requiescat in pace my beloved New Moon) in college, my manager, a jazz musician and music aficionado, told me of a story of a group in the Czech Republic. The subject of the story wasn’t the ensemble’s music, but rather the name. See, this group, a gaggle of well-meaning, accomplished players, still hadn’t grasped the fine nuances of the English. And thus when interpreting ‘bad’ as a slang term for ‘good,’ the group figured what’s better than ‘bad’? Well, ‘worse.’ So, the jazz group eventually went on to be known as Worse. I couldn’t tell you if they were ‘worse’ or not, but this set-up is a tribute to the Czech Republic and all its weirdness.

Former Eastern Bloc countries like Hungary, Bulgaria, and Romania exist in different realities from the rest of Europe, but the Czech Republic is by a long shot the strangest country – for metal, to be specific – of the lot. In the spirit (and tribute) of hilariously penned band names like Worse, I bring you Garbage Disposal, Invasion to Privacy, Government of Pansies, Choked by Own Vomits, Hormony Corruption (get it?), Dark Salad, Infectious Germs, Happy Death, Demented Retarded, Greedy Invalid, Grandmother Is Dead, Mincing Fury and Guttural Clamour of Queer Decay, Bonesaw of the Brains, Purulent Spermcanal, Grope for Thesis, Poppy Seed Grinder, and this gem of a name Destructive Explosion of Anal Garland. Excellent stuffs!

Check out Mincing Fury and Guttural Clamour of Queer Decay and Destructive Explosion of Anal Garland on MySpace. Give ‘em a ‘Dobrý den’ from Decibel!

After public outcry from animal rights activists, a formal inquisition to determine a breach of the Polish penal code and approximately 300 Blabbermouth posts, Gorgoroth’s infamous 2004 concert in Krakow is being released on DVD next month. You know, the one with the fence made out of severed sheep heads, the hooded naked people on crucifixes and copious amounts of blood and entrails. The guys in Gorgoroth borrowed the sacrilicious concept for 2007’s “Carving a Giant,” so you’ve already seen the most shocking parts of Black Mass Krakow 2004. Now that this order of business has been taken care of, we can all go back to wondering what’s going on with Gorgoroth’s legal situation — something that this video summarizes nicely.

If there’s a better description of Japanese trio Coffins than the review of the group’s demo on Metal Archives, I haven’t found it: “Coffins are like the Charles Manson of the metal world. Despite being captivating and undoubtedly unique and interesting, the underlying feeling that what you’re listening to is completely fucking evil is always present.” Operating word here: evil. As in: a possible soundtrack of the coming Apocalypse. Two new tracks from the upcoming Coffins LP on 20 Buck Spin have been posted on the group’s MySpace page.  As with previous releases, Coffins remains under the thrall of countrymen Corrupted — they’re pounding square pegs into round holes with the same brutish ennunciations but a slightly different tool kit (the Bay Area thrash-style riff on “Under the Stench”). If you’re new to Coffins, it’s worth noting that two songs is the perfect make-or-break point; anything more and you’ll need a shower and a trip to confession.

In the liner notes for Birushanah’s face-melting new record on Level Plane, two musicians are credited with “metal percussion.” This initally got us to wondering: is this some kind of fancy-pants euphemism? Like, we could totally see Dave Lombardo getting credited for “metal percussion” on the next Fantomas record. But since Birushanah’s lineup also includes a drummer, it can’t be that. On the 20+ epic “Akai Yami,” there’s one guy pounding on a Japanese taiko drum and another guy playing bells and chimes. Well, it’s not exactly clear who is responsible for what on the record, but according to a recent MySpace bulletin, their roles were further complicated after the Japanese noise merchants had trouble getting their instruments through customs on their recent tour: “We could not bring Japanese drum to USA… Japanese post office is shit!!!!” Still, these guys should be used to improvising by now. In the clip below, they’re making do with a traditional drum kit and an empty oil drum, which would be totally wackyif these guys hadn’t thought of it first.

Birushanah, live in Melbourne 6/8/07