Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine has issued the following urgent update to this week’s equally pressing update about his medical condition:
“I am writing this while sitting in my studio, flexing my fingers and pulling tufts of lint out of my navel. Since I have some rare ‘extra time,’ I wanted to make a post about my earlier post this week and what we are doing this weekend. Although I may decide to post about this post sometime this weekend, so perhaps I shall leave the details of what I am going to do to celebrate Labor Day until the day before in order to keep everyone current on all of the terrifically exciting events of my life.
“Pam and I have been looking at ceramic flooring options to replace some of the cracked linoleum in our kitchen. Portions of a couple of the tiles have splintered off. Did you know that you can call Empire at 1-800-588-2300 and receive a free in-home estimate? I did that yesterday. Twice. I’ll admit it: I was a little lonely.
“I was just thinking about the next edition of Gigantour. Maybe Iced Earth can play this year. I’ll have to give the guys in Bobaflex a call and see if they’re available. They give fantastic foot baths and are keen flatterers. Was there a Gigantour last year? I can’t remember. I seem to recall being on stage with Arch Enemy in Perth. Yeah… we should definitely do this again. Please go to the official Gigantour site and MySpace.com/gigantour page for details.
“Thank you for the outpouring of emotion about my medical diagnosis. Do not worry, because I am in a great place and am very happy. Thanks to the miracle of the raging 30-hour Viagra boner, I no longer need to strain my neck to tug at the trouser snake (aka Vic Swollenhead). Arthritis should be a cinch. I appreciate the cards, though.
“Thanks, as well, to Marty Friedman, who recently sent me a ‘fruit bouquet.’ That’s one of those arrangements where the fruit is cut into the shape of flowers. I FUCKING HATE HONEYDEW! IT’S NOT EVEN A REAL FUCKING MELON!!! I appreciate the gesture, though, as well as the funny card: ‘Here’s a basket of pansies for the biggest pansy I know.’
“Justis and Electra are doing well. I recently went to a taping of Electra’s Animal Planet show ‘Faithful Friends’ and learned all about labradoodles. It’s a mix of a Labrador Retriever and a Poodle. Crazy! Meanwhile, Justis has been hanging around the studio lounge with his friend from school, Ryan (a drummer), listening to a bunch of music that isn’t Megadeth. There’s no accounting for taste. Oh well: Chris Broderick knows its only a matter of time until I boot his ass out of Megadeth so my kid can join his old man and shred.
“Oh, and I just received word from the Chamber of Commerce in Rome, NY that February 30, 2009 has officially been declared ‘Dave Mustaine Day’ and that I’m invited to attend the ribbon cutting ceremony!
Decibel’s sagacious Comrade Gross gave Harvey Milk’s Life… The Best Game In Town a well-deserved 9/10 review in the September issue, but try telling that to Bill, Ann and Joe down at Sulimay’s diner in Philly. These three wizened septuagenarians regularly hold forth on new releases in some sort of antediluvian Siskel & Ebert routine, alternately exalting and excoriating the likes of Santogold, Portishead and (in this episode) Beck and Harvey Milk. Apparently, Joe thinks The Milk is way pussy compared to the extreme porno-grind he spins in the day room at the group home. As the opening strains of “Death Goes To The Winner” float through his ear-buds, he becomes incredulous: “This is heavy metal?” We’ve got a better question: Why aren’t these Paleozoic wizards on the Decibel payroll?
DragonForce’s new album Ultra Beatdown came out yesterday. Of course, all you Guitar Zero axeslingers and ADHD guitar nerds know this and probably beat Best Buy’s Geek Squad to work at 6 a.m. to nab a copy. You’ll never be as good as George Lynch, but that’s entirely another Deciblog rant. You also won’t nab a chick like this.
Now that you’re prancing around mom’s livingroom in these with that fake Gibson X-plorer wishing, in your heartest of hearts, that you could be like Herman Li or Sam Totman, let’s rewind a bit. It’s OK. You can pause “Heroes of Our Times.” You’ve only heard it 18.75 times today.
DragonForce may be sweet, awesome, tits, or some leet speak horror of a synonym you found on the Interweb, but they’re no fucking match for Lost Horizon. Who? Yeah, we know you said, ‘Who?’ when fellow Deciblogger Greg M. beautifully detailed Cirith Ungol’s ’84 opus King of the Dead. It’s OK. We all have to start somewhere. Like DragonForce.
Hey now, kids. Let’s refocus. Your head can explode to “Heartbreak Armageddon” after you’ve heard Lost Horizon. We’re pretty serious when we say 2001’s Awakening the World is one of the best power metal albums of the decade. So much so we’re serving up two of the album’s best tracks. Before you LULZ or some other shit, listen. Then listen again. Good isn’t it? Now, go buy it and tell your friends. Rather tell your friends to come here first and then buy it. You’ll never look at hot pink arpeggios the same again.
Deciblog fave/friend Justin Bartlett just sent us some info about a group exhibition he’s taking part in at FIFTY24SF Gallery in San Francisco next month, which includes new multimedia works from eight artists in the extreme music community. Well, they’re billing it as the “abrasive music community.” But, hey, look: Aaron Turner is involved and we know from experience that he’s just a big teddy bear. The run continues through September, but if you’re near the Bay Area (or planning a special trip), the opening reception is not to be missed — all eight of the artists exhibiting work will be present. Even the elusive Seldon Hunt, who will be off in the corner, posing for photos, kissing babies and giving hugs. Details below!
“Catalyst” is a group exhibition that will include eight of today’s most prominent visual artists from the abrasive music community. The exhibit will bring together an underground community of artists in which aural and visual expressions converge. Artwork on display willcomprise of a wide source of media, including new two-dimensional paintings, drawings, video installations, screen prints as well as aninstallation of seminal works from each of the artists’ extensivecatalogues. Artists Included: Aaron Turner, Josh Graham, Seldon Hunt, Stephen Kasner, Aaron Horkey, Florian Bertmer, Justin Bartlett and Dwid Hellion. Curated by Brett Aronson. The “Catalyst” group show will be on display at FIFTY24SF Gallery September 4 – 25, 2008.
Opening Reception:
Thursday, September 4, 2008 from 7 – 9:30 p.m.
252 Fillmore St. San Francisco, CA 94117
Phone: 415.252.9144
5. Thou Art Lord - Thou Art Lord’s first insignia was sort of a cross between the Mysticum and Mayhem’s logos. Not sure why they changed it — several times, in fact — to a dumb font or a hand-scrawled atrocity, but the Greek supagroup got it right. Just look at it! It’s Christ’s greatest foe. The symmetry and detail are amazing. From horned stems of the ‘t’ in ‘thou’ and ‘art’ to the bearded ‘o’ and ‘r,’ the logo screams black cool. And it’s readable, which is a bonus when attending Christian Revival Meetings.
4. Impaled Nazarene - No real translation required here. Impaled Nazarene’s logo looks exactly as the name sounds. The lettering is harsh, angular, and readable — necessary when you name your band Impaled Nazarene. The Finns also incorporated not just an inverted cross, but a pentagram and horns, all of which center the logo as it slightly arcs up in the middle. There are vestiges of symmetry, primarily around the middle letters of the band name. That’s probably the point. Imp Naz’s logo draws you right into the good stuff.
3. Abruptum - Abruptum’s logo changed for the better on 1993’s Obscuritatem Advoco Amplectere Me. Like maybe Unleashed’s killer logo, this one’s all symmetry. The requisite inverted cross is present. Yet unlike many, Abruptum snuck in the triple 6 at three of the invertie’s four points. Class! Yet like many, the Swedes chose to partially obcsure their moniker in a confounding array of Viking-esque interlocking line designs. In fact, if you didn’t know it said Abruptum, which is Latin for ‘abyss’ or ‘chasm,’ it might be some smart looking Lovecraftian art of unknown and arcane origin.
2. Beherit - Beherit logos are damned good. Well, the demo logo ain’t much, but on The Oath of Black Blood the Finns affixed one of the ugliest badges of evil we’ve ever seen. Devil horns and claws protrude grotesquely out of the ‘b’ and the ‘t.’ The ‘h,’ which serves as the blasphemous centerpiece, has a candle and an inverted crucifix — which Jesus is brutally nailed to it — growing out of its stems. And the ‘i’ is dotted with a barely discernible pentagram. The thicker attributes of the letters have a beastly quality as well. Like the tail that forms the ‘r’ stem. Shivers, baby. Shivers.
1. Darkthrone – We put the Darkthrone logo at number 4 on our Top 5 Death Metal Logos post, but when it comes to black metal logos — which are predominantly based off old English or Fraktur fonts — this one is easily the best. ATG/Disfear frontman Tomas Lindberg inked this logo before Fenriz and Nocturno Culto were monochromatic, but it works equally well as a black metal logo. It’s almost symmetric, the pentagram uncomfortably distorted and the letter stems, particularly the ‘d,’ ‘k,’ ‘t,’ and ‘e’ letters, could either be ooze from Satan’s great oak or fulgurant black magick. Pure fucking armageddon.
The five runners-up: Immortal (barbed wire, claws, invertie, and ‘gram. Yeah!), Watain (scrawled-by-cavemen evil), Gehenna (batwings, a sanguine sun, and cthulhu tentacles-like ‘g’ and ‘a’? Awesomeness!), Naglfar (an electrical storm of devilish proportions), and Deathspell Omega (regal yet really wicked).
It’s been too long without a heavy dose of the good stuff. We’re talking about Flesh Parade’s delicious, cracker crumblin’, spicy, blackened, Cajun grind. Music that Remy Lebeau bangs his head to. Their short-but-sweet Kill Whitey retrospective came out on Relapse in ’98, and filthy fucking blunt-toking cuts like “Bout Had It” and “Coping With It” still tighten our pants. The band has been on hiatus since 2000, but now they’re working on a new full-length called Dirty Sweet.
But there’s a catch. There’s always a catch. Singer, Jason Pilgrim, has gone hardcore born-again godfreak on us. He was “slowly killing” himself with drugs and alcohol, the same way we are slowly killing ourselves with Oxygen and H2O – we’re all dying, dude. Not that it’s a bad idea to clean up your life, it’s just that a nice cold shower would do you better than a brainwashing.
Guitarist Rene says, “He hasn’t really changed a bit. He’s still the same guy and still screams with the same intensity as before.” But he also admits, “Well, he screams all the same patterns, but may not actually say the objectionable stuff. No one really knows the difference.” Our dicks go limp as he continues, “Some of the new material on the album will have some content on his faith, but as far as I’m concerned he can sing about whatever he wants as long as he screams it.”
Well… Dead Again was listenable despite Petey’s over-the-top religious antics. We’ll just have to sacrifice a goat to Satan for them and hope shit pans out.
We here at Decibel’s Los Angeles Bureau are riddled with bad habits, but the one that annoys our perpetually harried Editor-In-Chief most (okay, second-to-most) is our tendency to turn in cover stories that are about 3,000 words longer than they should be. As such, our exhaustive/exhausting feature on freshly reunited grindgore fiends Carcass had to lose a little weight before the mag went to print—and the fucker is still nine pages long. The following outtake concerns H.R. Giger’s involvement with the band’s 1993 blasterpiece, Heartwork:
The album’s cover represented another huge departure for Carcass, reflecting, perhaps, the almost complete lack of obtuse medical terminology in Jeff Walker’s lyrics this time around (“Carnal Forge” being the glaring exception). While Necroticism had forgone the gore collages of Reek and Symphonies, the pathology elements were still front and center. For Heartwork, however, Carcass managed to get renowned Swiss surrealist H.R. Giger, creator of the Alien alien who had previously lent his work to album covers for Celtic Frost (To Mega Therion), Atrocity (Hallucinations), Danzig (How The Gods Kill), and Emerson, Lake & Palmer (Brain Salad Surgery), to let them adopt the new aluminum cast of his “Life Support” sculpture. “I used to have a Swiss girlfriend, and she was a friend of Giger’s girlfriend at the time,” Walker reveals. “So that was one of those lucky coincidences. I don’t think he really liked what we were doing—he was more into jazz. That piece was something he’d done in the ’60s, and we’d approached him to use it. It just so happened that he was remaking it in aluminum, so again, it was a lucky coincidence. And I think he was… I won’t say flattered, but I think he liked that we were interested in something contemporary that he was doing at the moment.”
August 21, 2008. An infamous day in extreme music history. The day Metallica debuted a song that’s marginally better than any one they’ve written in the last 17 years. Editor-in-Chief Albert Mudrian and Managing Editor Andrew Bonazelli congregated at the living legends’ MySpace page for this second-by-second appraisal over IM of “The Day That Never Comes.”
0:10 Andrew: which part are they forcing kirk to play?
1:25 Andrew: james hetfield and auto-tune: two great tastes that go great together.
1:55 Albert: The production in the chorus is total Justice. Newstead will love this.
1:59 Andrew: first three chords of chorus: fade to black.
2:35 Albert: This is actually not horrible!
2:51 Andrew: is this already the sixth best song on the black album? or seventh?
3:20 Albert: You think Rick Rubin knows this album is actually finished?
3:34 Andrew: this song is much better if you sing “you’re unforgiven… TOOOOOO” at any given point.
3:44 Albert: I can already hear this on next summer’s baseball road trip.
3:46 Andrew: no, echobrain is the future of the baseball road trip.
4:05 Albert: Do you recognize ANY of the songs on their myspace page not named “And Justice For All”?
4:15 Andrew: (scrolling down mediaplayer. hey, master of puppets is on here!)
4:24 Andrew: love is a four-letter word. come on james, we all know you can do worse.
5:08 Albert: Fuck, the “One” rip off riff is killing me.
6:13 Albert: Does this solo contain ALL of the solos that were scrapped for St Anger?
6:20 Andrew: it’s the trendy thing to do.
7:02 Albert: Jesus Christ.
7:11 Andrew: how many times has heafy jizzed in the last two minutes?
7:24 Albert: I think he’s already started losing his hair in tribute to Kirk.
7:29 Andrew: the first four minutes of this song TOTALLY JUSTIFY the last three.
7:40 Andrew: the day that never comes is coming ON MY FACE.
7:52 Albert: T-minus five minutes until Joe Gross emails me to ask “What do we think of the new Metallica single?”
