Top 5 Free Beers Withered Drinks on Tour
By Mike Thompson, Withered
You know, as I sat down in my cigar room with a snifter of brandy and contemplated all the possible things that I could write about and how it could potentially impact the lives of readers, I realized that I’m carrying a great responsibility and should not take this assignment lightly. I mean, if I don’t speak up, who will? Seriously, who? I considered many political and social issues before deciding that the topic of today’s list should be something that will make people really think and challenge your intellect. It should also be something that we all have in common and brings us together. So, with that in mind, the only possible topic is for me to catalogue all of the amazing beers that my band mates and I are fortunate enough to enjoy on tour. Many times, show promoters like to illustrate the charm of their fair cities by offering us a taste of small local breweries or rare regional beers, like these:
5. GIVE THAT BAND A BLUE RIBBON!: You just can’t go wrong with Pabst. It’s Withered’s good ole faithful beer. It never steers us wrong, always tastes great, and you can’t beat the price – especially if a club promoter is giving it you.
4. WHAT’LL YA HAVE?: You know, PBR is just an all-around great American tradition. This fine ale has been brewed for almost 150 years now. It has great body and it’s been with me just about every time I pass out on some stranger’s floor or couch.
3. AMERICA’S BEST SINCE 1882: When we’re rockin’ at a crowded show, especially in the summer months, there’s only one beverage that can satisfy the thirst of this gross, smelly, and sweaty metal band. We’re talking about the only tried and true beer, Pabst Blue Ribbon. Whether on tap, in a can, or in a bottle (my personal favorite), it always brings a smile to my face and quenches my thirst.
2. THE FIRST CANNED BEER IN AMERICA: You may not realize that Pabst was the first beer to be canned, originally in olive drab cans for military consumption during WWII. This just goes to show the kind of innovation and trend setting that earns this beer the #2 slot on Withered’s Top 5 Beer list. It’s second only to one beer…
1. PABST BLUE RIBBON: That’s right, folks. It may come as a shock to some of you, but the #1 beer that’s given to Withered on tour is the one and only Pabst Blue Ribbon. It may be hard for you to believe that none of the previous 4 beers could add up to our longtime friend, but it’s true. I have been through countless drunken marathons and PBR always sees me through the tough times. There are plenty of other beers that claim to be America’s Best, but I have yet to experience any. It may have not won the title of “America’s Best Beer Since 1882″ in some official, fancy-pants contest, but you can bet your ass it tastes as good as it tasted then! If you’re on a budget, you can’t beat it. If you’re not on a budget, it’s still tough to beat. Yeah, I’m a wealthy rock star, but I still have a 12 pack of PBR in the fridge…to go along with my vintage lighted PBR sign, PBR serving tray, 70’s-era pilsner glasses, and tons of other great memorabilia. I even have a laminated membership card from their website. That’s right, I’m a total dork. Ask me to see it sometime. Oh, and they have a bitchin’ chili recipe on their site too. PBR 4 Life!!! The crazy thing is I’m not even getting paid to say any of this — the taste is rewarding enough! But if someone from the Pabst Brewing Company is reading this and would like to gimme some free stuff, that would be righteous.