Finnish symphonic power metal quintet Nightwish supposedly has a new record coming out next month. Decibot feels bad for hurting the feelings of the one Nightwish fan on Decibel’s staff who really wants to discuss it, but the temptation to refer to Dark Passion Play as “Van Nightwish III” repeatedly in conversation was impossible to resist. Decibot can’t really comprehend why fans are up in arms over the decision to replace Tarja Turonen with Anette Olzon, though. For starters, this is the sixth different line-up of the band in the last decade; that turnover’s almost as fast as Mercedes and Morgan Lander’s bandmates can quit on them! But more importantly, Tarja Turonen is more ubiquitous than ever (Decibot even spotted her being advertised as the free toy prize in customer service representative Mark Evans’ box of cereal this morning), and hellbent on committing career suicide with or without the support of a bunch of hairy Scandinavians. Decibot could be fair and post a link to Tarja performing a gorgeous rendition of “Ave Maria” on Finnish TV, but too little attention from Decibot’s human caregivers has Decibot in an robo-asshole kind of mood. So, instead, here’s Tarja making an appearance on the catwalk at a recent fashion show and treating the audience to a blindingly awful cabaret version of “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” Whoa, Tori Amos just threw up a little in her mouth:

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