Yakuza have posted the first MP3 from their forthcoming album Transmutations on their MySpace page… and it’s kinda weird! Also in current rotation: “Cancer of Industry” from 2006’s underrated Samsara and “Chicago Typewriter,” the song that basically put this Chicago jazz-metal (or is that metal-jazz?) quartet on the map. Sanford Parker (Minsk, Rwake), who guested on the last two Yakuza releases as an instrumentalist, steps in as producer and there’s a song called “Meat Curtains.” Again, that’s kinda weird! Meanwhile, frontman Bruce Lamont has also posted some of the works-in-progress from his upcoming “solo” album on his own MySpace page and continues to perform as Robert Plant, when time permits, in Chicago’s preeminent Zeppelin cover band, Led Zeppelin II. That part’s not weird at all.

“Fuck you all, this will be our last album ever! Or maybe it won’t!” We’re not sure how you follow up an album titled Fuck the Universe, but Swedish black ‘n’ rollers Craft, who initially announced FTU as their final album, changed their mind around the time the album was released and are currently preparing to record their next one. Guitarist Joakim Karlsson gave us an update.

How many new songs have you written so far? What do the songs sound like compared to Fuck the Universe?
I don’t know how many complete songs, but I would say about a hundred minutes of material. We’ll rearrange it in the final minute as we always do; we’ll throw a lot of it away also. In total we probably have about 60 to 70 percent of the album done, and we’re aiming for about 45 minutes. Compared to Fuck the Universe, I would say better riffing, it’s tighter and it will have a more hellish sound.

Do you know yet what the title of the album will be? Is there any overall theme to the album?
We haven’t decided on the title yet, but it isn’t a concept album. Or rather, yes there’s a theme, but only in the sense that all lyrics are hateful and we’re still pissed off, like on Fuck the Universe.

When will you be recording?
The recording will start off within the next month or so. We won’t be recording it in one go but in several sessions. It’ll take a few months to finish, but it’ll be finished before the end of this year. We’re hoping it can be released in the spring but we make no promises.

High on Fire have posted the first MP3 from their forthcoming album Death Is the Communion on their Myspace page. Along with “Rumors of War,” there’s a preview of the album’s artwork, once again by Arik Roper.

The following memo was delivered at the semi-annual Roadrunner Records shareholders meeting on July 13, 2007:

“To our valued investors and board members:

2007 is shaping up to be quite a productive year for Roadrunner Records! Before we call this meeting to order, we would like to announce the two newest members of the Roadrunner family: Biffy Clyro and Atreyu. We haven’t been this fucking psyched about a signing since we managed to extend the Slipknot brand with Stone Sour! With Atreyu and Biffy Clyro on the roster and a strategic partnership with Hot Topic in place, Roadrunner is now poised to dominate the coveted “tween” market across the entire world.

Some of you have raised concerns over a recent report by the highly reputable news agency Blabbermouth that discussed a breakdown in communications with Daughtry, which ultimately resulted in the band’s decision to choose a contract with RCA Records over Roadrunner’s generous offer. We’re all sorry we let a group like Daughtry slip through our fingers but we are currently addressing the situation with offers to Constantine Maroulis and Bucky Covington on the table. Both of these “rockers” actually finished higher in American Idol voting than Chris Daughtry. The Roadrunner train keeps on rollin’!

We’re happy to report that the label’s bad contracts with Obituary and Chimaira are finally off the books. Now we can move on to more pressing matters, like the Opeth “problem.” Unfortunately, our strategy of re-releasing Ghost Reveries with bonus materials and expanded packaging once every three months has not translated into the type of sales we traditionally expect from our “core” artists. Plans for a new Opeth record have been delayed indefinitely until our hand-picked producer Corey Taylor finishes with his current commitments. In the interval, we’re putting Opeth on the road this fall with Black Stone Cherry, Wolfmother and Staind to introduce the band’s brand of melodic death metal to an audience that will truly appreciate it.

We would also like to announce a couple of minor organizational changes for 2007. Matt Heafy of Trivium has recently been promoted to the head of Roadrunner’s A&R department. Matt brings a depth of experience to the position; we hope that he will be able to scour his MySpace “Top 16″ list to bring a new generation of talented artists to the Roadrunner roster. Additionally, we would like to welcome a familiar face as the company’s new president and CEO : Chad Kroeger of Nickelback. None of you have any reason to worry about what disruptions these organizational changes may bring; we think you will all agree with us when we say that Chad has a superior talent for keeping things exactly the same.

Thank you for your time and your energy. Without your continued trust and sponsorship, we would not be able to build Roadrunner into a leader in the industry with a truly global brand. New signings Atreyu will be on display in their cages in the hallway as you exit. Do not make sudden movements that may frighten the band, and do not feed them – especially the fat one!”

Breaking news from Q Daily: Rock bands do cocaine and have sex with groupies!

As a child of 11, guitarist Kirk Hammett watched in horror as his pet dog Tippy was penetrated by the bloke next door. That’s just one of many jaw-dropping facts we learn about ultimate rock monsters Metallica in the new issue of Q.

Hammett explains: “I went to my neighbour’s. The guy took down his pants and started having sex with the dog! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. When he got up, I just took the dog and left. She was still wagging her tail.”

Other key revelations include frontman James Hetfield’s jealousy over Hammett and drummer Lars Ulrich’s massive consumption of cocaine. “I did not like being around them when they were on that stuff,” says the singer. “I resented the closeness they had through their drug use.”

What Hetfield and Ulrich did share, though, was their love of groupies.

“Those guys really went for it,” recalls bassist Jason Newsted. “Lars would probably be the king as far as that crazy promiscuity goes. Blowjobs under the stage during the bass solo, that kind of stuff”.

Wikipedia vandalism affects us all, but it especially affects Every Time I Die. Not everyone is as fond of ETID as Decibel’s Andrews Bonazelli and Parks, but anyone can edit a Wikipedia entry. The current opening paragraph to ETID’s Wiki entry:

Every Time I Die is an five-piece metalcore band from Tallahassee, Florida, founded in the winter of 2008. Though popularly classified as metalcore, Every Time I Die’s sound also contains strong elements of southern rock and a hint of grindcore. The band is currently signed to Ferret Records and their latest album, Yes, We Know We Sound Like Shit, was released on August 23, 2005. In early 2006 they were on tour with Bleeding Through, Between The Buried And Me and Haste The Day. In late 2006 they supported Atreyu on the World Championship Tour along with From First to Last and Chiodos. Their new album, titled The Big Dirty, will be released in September 2007. Every Time I Die has posted one of the new tracks from We Haven’t Gotten Any Better, “Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Bad Music,” on their MySpace page. They are on Sounds Of The Underground 2007 tour alongside GWAR, Shadows Fall, Job for a Cowboy, Chimaira, Darkest Hour, The Devil Wears Prada, Heavy Heavy Low Low, Amon Amarth, The Number Twelve Looks Like You, The Acacia Strain This Is Hell, Necro, and Goatwhore.

Fridays after 5, Decibot runs this muthafucka! So check it out, y’all: someone with wayyyyy too much time on their hands created a mash-up of Decibot’s two most favorite awesomely awful nu metal jams, White Zombie’s “More Human Than Human” and Methods of Mayhem’s “Get Naked.” Shout out to Vince and Axl at Metal Sucks.

Cons: no images of Li’l Kim riding the giant “rooster”; it’s the worst moments of Ozzfest ‘99 condensed into one gnarly butt nugget.

Pros: no images of T-Lo and Tommy Lee stroking their own johnsons; it’s like the best moments of Ozzfest ‘99 condensed into one gnarly butt nugget.

The underground, still reeling from the sight of Alicia Silverstone in a Melt-Banana shirt, was dealt another blow in the form of Fall Out Boy drummer Andy Hurley (a former member of Racetraitor) sporting an Arsis t-shirt during a performance on Brazilian TV. This is what happens when you give your albums super-emo titles like A Celebration of Guilt and United in Regret.

MP3: Arsis - Oh, The Humanity
MP3: Arsis - Lust Before the Maggots Conquest