Gorguts lessons, eh?

What’s the most embarassing record in your collection?

John: My 25 ta Life 7″?
Mike: I think it’s your Slipknot 7″. You know, the one we bought at Hot Topic.
John: Yeah, you’re totally right.
Mike: I mean, 25 ta Life? A lot of people aren’t that ‘core, man.
John: 25 ta Life’s kinda awesome, anyway.
Mike: Totally. “Smackin’ You Up”? That’s a good fuckin’ song.
John: What about you?
Mike: I dunno, man. There’s an infinite number of bad CDs in my collection. Maybe Kix?
John: Fuck that. I’m thinking: Body Count.
Mike: Body Count is waaaayyyyy more embrassing than Kix. I’ve got all of the Body Count records, too, even Murder for Hire. I bought that shit the week it came out!

New Darkest Hour full-length Deliver Us due out on Victory Records on July 11th.

We’d never listen to a leaked album before it came out, but those who lack our strong moral fiber have reported that “Genuine Lulabelle” from Shellac’s forthcoming Excellent Italian Greyhound features a vocal cameo from Strong Bad. We also heard that that “Steady As She Goes” and “Boycott” are the best songs.

Memorial Day used to be called Decoration Day, but an act of Congress settled the debate after World War II.  In the American South, where y’all still can’t trust what’s going on north of the Mason/Dixon line, they celebrate both. So peace to all of our fallen soldiers.

And here’s a classic Metallica set from March 15, 1985 at the Kabuki Theater in San Francisco, complete with yet another awesome rendition of “Creeping Death” and Cliff’s bass solo from Kill ‘Em All. Lars and James want you to download it from The Metallica Vault.

Decibot is down with M.O.P., but Billy and Fame’s new “rap-rock” side project Hevi Medal? Not so much.

Hevi Medal, “7:30″

The lastest from Dave Brenner at Earsplit PR: Total Fucking Headcase Rich Hoak is throwing the authorities off his scent by sponsoring the “Brown Tumor” page on a medical wiki. More than you ever wanted to know about hyperparathyrodism. Of course, in Hoak’s weird world, too much is never enough, so he’s taking the Total Fucking Destruction travelling sideshow on the road  in a pair of dates in Baltimore and Philly over this long holiday weekend, leading up to a June show in Brooklyn that’s bursting at the seams with Decibel favorites:

5/26    Baltimore, MD - Sidebar - TFD w/XXX Maniak, Phobia
5/29    Philadelphia, PA - Mill Creek Tavern - TFD w/Gut, Goretex
6/16    Brooklyn NY - Europa - TFD w/Pig Destroyer, Genghis Tron, Carbomb

Note to all enterprising gore-grind bands: the “Bladder Rupture” and “Penile Abcess” pages are still available for sponsorship.

Knut’s Terraformer came out too late to merit consideration in Decibel’s 2005 Top 40 - that’s the story we’re sticking with right now, anyway. No doubt that record was better than whatever generic hardcore crap filled out the list’s breakdown quota, but Decibel scribe Rod Smith did eventually give the dudes their propers in this short-but-sweet feature. According to the group’s website, they’re currently working on new material for a proper follow-up to Terraformer with no set release date. In the meantime, former guitarist Philippe Hess (who strayed from the fold after 2002’s excellent Challenger) is doing the dueling guitarists thing encore une fois with longtime Knut associate Jerome Pelligrini in a new instru-metal venture called Nebra. Pelligrini made some super-bon chansons from the group’s demo available for download on MySpace in February. The final track hasn’t been uploaded yet, but if it’s anything like #1-4, it’ll totally slay.

In related news, a polar bear cub named Knut - the newest resident of the Berlin Zoo - turns 6 months old in about a week. Polar Bear Knut already has more YouTube hits than Mathcore Knut. How can you compete with this?

Dan Seagrave, whose work is familiar to anyone who paid attention to death metal in the ’90s (Morbid Angel’s Altars of Madness, Suffocation’s Effigy of the Forgotten, Nocturnus’ The Key, Entombed’s Left Hand Path, tons of others) has completed work on a DV short titled Shadowline. Sad to say, there are no massive death machines or time-traveling Christ-killers in the trailer, which looks to be more of a psychological horror thing. But hey, maybe there’s a twist ending. Florian Bertmer and Wes Benscoter, please call your agents now.